During this last week of 2017, I wanted to re-visit the learnings of the year. What have I learned and more importantly what have I un-learned?
Did I repeat the mistakes of the previous year, have I incorporated the learnings of the previous year into my endeavours? Were there any habits formed or dropped? What did I stop doing this year or at least tried to? What did I start doing this year or at least tried to?
There is a long answer to the above-mentioned questions but there is one aspect which stands out and has started bothering me for a while, something which I have admitted to myself an infinite number of times and although I understand that it needs to be changed I haven’t been able to achieve 100% success. I need to, now.
I know it’s a human thing but it has started making me uncomfortable and even embarrassed me at times.
Today, I am doing few things comfortably for which I judged someone a few years ago. I am still not always comfortable with the deeds of other people which I think are not ‘correct’ or with the higher degrees of any behavioural trait which is yet not in my list of experiences or opinions.
At times, I still ask myself – why someone is not good at tasks which are so ‘easy’? Why is someone not speaking in a certain way? How can someone be so grumpy all the time? Why is someone not able to comprehend such simple things? How can s/he make such choices? Why is s/he dressed like this? What made him/her take this decision?
Whenever these questions come to my mind, they make me uncomfortable. And I must admit, this started happening to me ONLY in last 1-2 years and NOT before.
I was comfortable JUDGING people. Never did this thought crossed my mind that I am limiting my sense of understanding and acceptance.
It’s just not me, I know that. Also, I don’t want to go into the scientific reasons for Judging in this post, but I understand that probably we need a base to grasp first impressions. We probably maintain a bank of references, experiences and opinions which we consider as the only truth and compare to it, everything we come across in our lives.
But the problem here is, which I have had a hard time to accept (forgive me for that), my truth isn’t your truth and your truth isn’t their truth!
This acceptance has made all the difference to my thought process in past some time. Today, (ironically) I often judge myself for all my past judgements.
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always!
I have made myself understand that the place where I come from and the exposure I have had is a tiny circle and the fact is that for each one of us the radius of this circle is different – might be smaller than mine or much larger. I am not aware of that and if I have just come to know you, possibly I cannot be made aware of your circle either.
With the dawn of the new year, I don’t want to judge you anymore, I don’t want to assess you while we are conversing.
I am not aware what your story is and what you have been going through. I don’t want to form an opinion about you. Tomorrow if your thoughts evolve and you respond differently to the same conversation, I don’t want to point it out neither to you or myself. Tomorrow if your priorities change and you change your path, I don’t want to question that.
I need to understand that ‘Being Alive’ is a process where you constantly evolve; experiences, achievements, failures, circumstances and people around you, make you and your thoughts.
I know I need to make an effort here and I am ready for that. I want to learn to accept individuality and ask myself questions about whatever I am judging.
Be Curious. Not Judgemental. ~ Walt Whitman
I need to broaden my understanding of what is acceptable which I believe will cultivate a deeper sense of peace within me and make me better than what I am today.
This is one of my agendas for the coming year. Wishing you all best for yours!